Three Poems

by Robbie Q. Telfer

The Windshield Effect

The news isn’t good
it isn’t evil either
the news vomits 58 minutes
of real doomblood but on a
lighter note, here is video
of a rat wearing
a tiger costume
good night, Chicago.

An old commie organizing tactic
goes you frame every struggle
with victories and hope
,
like the only reason we eat
sandwiches is the bread.

My partner has Celiacs
and sometimes gawks at me
like a pervert when I eat
clearly delicious breads.

don’t know what we got till it’s gone

They have recently discovered
dozens of different aquatic fungi
at the bottom of the Great Lakes
and immediately sandwiched their
conservation in the gluten free
bullshit of “who knows what
disease these fungi might cure.”

I understand you need to get funding
and I understand lots of people
don’t see worth in something unless
it cures someone they know personally
of the thing that is killing them.

Something people say to get you
to like bats is “they can eat 1000
mosquitoes in an hour” which is
probably impossible and also
shouldn’t be the only thing that
keeps the little Caesar inside you
from thumbsing down all bats
in our big blue coliseum.

Oh my god it was fucking huge.
What was?
The spider.
Oh yeah like how big?
Like this (                ).
So like two inches?
Yeah. Fucking huge.
Did you walk away from it on your comparatively enormous legs?
No, I had to smoosh it with a Boden catalog.
Cool.

The news about the bugs
it isn’t good.
This will be calamitous
to us – our crops, food webs.
And yet here I am
telling you that that’s
not a good reason
to save them.
If you don’t want
your species to go
extinct, is the god
you pray to a hope
you will one day
cure another species’
hemorrhoids?

I hated Obamacare
but then I got to
live a little longer
and now I love it.

What do you call a
protest vote where
you vote for the candidate
who most perfectly
reflects your heretofore
unelectable worldview?
A vote.
Anyway, I vote for bugs.